I know that losing a child, spouse or parent can be unbearable but when someone loses a grandparent it can be just as tough. I think it can be especially hard as an adult because you have spent a lot of time with the person and have so many memories. They are essentially second parents but with less rules and more cookies!

The week of the 12th, just two weeks ago, we got news that my Grandma was not eating, couldn't take her pills and wasn't able to use her breathing treatments well. Right away I bought tickets to Louisiana because I knew I needed to see her again, although I'd just seen her for Easter. A few days later the hospice nurses said they didn't expect her to make it through the weekend. So, my parents from Oregon left and drove down and my husband and I left early on Friday morning, flying. My aunt and uncle already live in Louisiana so we were racing the clock to get the whole family there before she passed.

My husband and I got to their home at 6:00pm and got to talk to her about everything we had been doing here in Montana. We had seen her just a few weeks before we moved here. She couldn't communicate back but we know she could hear us. After chatting it up for a while, somehow our whole family- Grandpa, Aunt, Uncle, Mom and Dad and Spenser and I ended up in the bedroom with Grandma and were chatting and telling stories and then suddenly and peacefully she passed at 7:40pm with us all by her side cuddled on their small full sized bed. It was like a scene from a movie.

I firmly believe she knew we were all on our way and held on until we could all be there. She always was a stubborn one. So of course she would get her way, even in death! My Mom's mother and father passed away just a few years ago and only within three months of each other so to lose my last Grandma this soon, hurts.

But I like to think about all she was.  She loved birds and flowers. She was as sharp as a whip and quick to correct you in the most polite way. Her community respected and cared for her, as did her whole family. She is the definition of wisdom to me always pulling out advice and info out of nowhere. She was 90 year old. You can imagine the things you learn in that long of a life! Her and grandpa were married 69 years. Talk about some good marriage advice... They truly were the definition of content. The only two people on this planet that 100% understood what life was about and how to live it out with each other.

Grieving is such a weird process. I still don't feel like she's gone, although I went through all of the motions in the week that followed. Viewings, funeral, dinners and family time filled with stories after stories. I'm sure it will take time to set in now that I'm back home and trying to get back into my normal routine. With all of my family spread back across the country.  But nothing sucks worse, if I'm being honest, than walking back into your normal environments but with one piece missing.

Love you, Grandma, so so much. Missing you dearly.