This particular holiday was either never explained to me properly, or I just don't get it. At all.

Wear something green or you'll get pinched. Why?

Why would you turn my beer green?

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The parades I can understand because everybody loves parades. (Just don't try handing out candy at the parades in Billings or you'll get in trouble.)

And with this year's St Patrick's Day coinciding with the first day of the NCAA basketball tournament, there's going to be a bunch of drunks with crappy Irish accents interfering with my game viewership.

Dear St. Paddy Partier, there is no reason to order an Irish Car Bomb other than you want to get hammered. Or you might miss work tomorrow.

Hate it. Just hate it.