Contact Us

Mariah Carey’s Self-Directed Hallmark Holiday Flick Is A Messy Christmas Miracle

Kevin Winter, Getty Images
Kevin Winter, Getty Images

Oh, Mariah, Mariah, Mariah.

The ever elusive chanteuse and even more elusive actress known as Mariah Carey had her self-directed Christmas flick air on the Hallmark Channel last night and, as predicted, it was a big ol’ mess. Like, you know when the Christmas tree lights get all tangled after being in a box in the attic for the past year, and it takes hours just to pull the cords apart from one another, and your mom keeps suggesting that she just runs out to Target real quick to buy a new box while your dad insists over and over that he can untangle the damn thing if everybody just backs off? Yeah. That kind of mess.

In A Christmas Melody, Carey plays suburban PTA queen bee Melissa, a Regina George in lamb’s clothing who is hellbent on torturing Lacey Chabert’s single mom Kristen, who just moved back to town from Los Angeles and gets involved with her daughter’s school. Appearing on-screen with the sort of soft-filtered Oprah-famous lighting that makes one look like a glowing hologram, Carey’s ponytail and pearl-wearing Melissa is a braggy, shade-throwing, passive-aggressive stage mom who spews the sort of saccharine backhanded compliments that Carey herself has become a veritable queen of within the media.

And while the role is certainly entertaining in an iconic-diva-plays-even-bigger-diva sort of way, the acting is just so cheesy:

Subscribe to 97.1 KISS FM on

Then again, Carey is basically the human embodiment of “over-the-top,” so really would we have expected anything less than this bitchy made-for-television perfection? Screw the Grammys—somebody get this queen the Emmy she deserves.

See What Celebs Looked Like When They Released Their First Album:

NEXT: THESE POP STAR-COVERED HOLIDAY CLASSICS ARE ALL YOU NEED FOR CHRISTMAS

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://971kissfm.com using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for Club Kiss quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Club 97 One contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.