Weirdest Men’s Room Experience Ever

I took a quick trip to see my dad and brothers in South Carolina over the Thanksgiving holiday and had an awkward men's room experience that I thought I should share. I actually wasn't even going to the restroom to make use of the facilities, but rather to do some vaping. The airport in the twin cities didn't have any designated smoking area that I could find, so I figured I'd make do with a stall.

When I walked in the door, I was greeted by a tiny man with an accent from somewhere in Africa. He asked how I was and then lead me to a stall which he entered and wiped the rim. He held the stall door open for me as I entered. I could feel the confused look on my face, but it must not have been too offensive since the man had an enormous smile.

I never even sat down...just hit my vape a few times, flushed for good measure and then opened the stall door. HE WAS RIGHT THERE. Still smiling, he asked "How was it today?" as if I just had a massage or maybe a pastry of some kind. "Great", I said as I tried to get the hell out of there. He sped in front of me and headed to the sink where he proceeded to do a "Ta Dah" gesture like it was a game show prize.

I've seen movies where people are in expensive restaurants that have a men's room attendant and have wondered what that must be like. Well, now I know. I am not in need of anyone to play a role in my public restroom activities.