Here’s How to Seem Local When You’re Not From Montana
With the reportedly huge influx that has come to our beautiful state, I thought that I'd better give you some tips about how you can fit in here and not be so easily recognized as a "Non-Montanan."
You'd better wave before getting waved at when you drive here.
And I'm not talking about just the Corvette guys waving at the other Corvette guys. This applies to all non- interstate roads.
Give Good Tips
The next way to fool us is when you're out for a meal. Even before the pandemic, Montanans were great tippers. And my service industry friends tell me that patrons are tipping even more here than they did before. So a twenty percent tip is good. But thirty is better.
If you're moving here, get your Montana license plates as soon as possible.
That way you can still drive like maniacs and dive in front of thos of us who pay better attention in traffic. I'll still mumble unpleasant things about you, but at least I won't label you a "Non-Montanan".
Working at the top of the DoubleTree Hotel for thirty-one years, I have seen more than my share of "Non-Montanans". And I can always tell because when I say hello when I'm walking into work and they are awaiting airport transport in the lobby, I have rarely gotten a hello back. In my head, I say things to myself like, "If you're that unfriendly, then I'm glad that you are flying back to wherever you and all of your other non-friendly, Non-Montanans are."
Take it Easy
And finally, once you've been here a short time, you feel more and more relaxed. That should make you feel good. That makes you a Montanan.
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