What Drunk Girl Are You?
You know who are you... After a few glasses of wine or shots, you pick your poison, you turn into your alternate personality. I am a firm believer that who you really are or want to be comes out when the drinks start rolling. If you have a group of friends that always goes out, you know exactly who each other become. It is no surprise. So, you what drunk girl are you?
'I'm Not Drunk'
Sure you're not.... and tree's don't make noise when they fall in woods. I don't understand the reason for denial. Everyone around you is drunk at this point and you have successfully lost your left earring and are carrying your shoes. You aren't convincing anyone and especially not convincing the bouncer who is incredibly sober.
Make sure you check Facebook and Insta to be sure the 'drama queens' ex-boyfriend won't be going out where you; not like that would stop her from letting you know EVERYTHING about him. Did that girl just give me a weird look? These are the questions that could start a full on riot in a bar if you are not watching out. And usually by the end of the night she has your whole squad in shambles because she talked crap about each one of you to, well, each one of you and now you're all mad.
Ever wonder how your friend knows SO many people? Just give her a few drinks and watch her work her magic. Kind, polite, complimentary, talks to everyone and is always smiling. She will even dance with all the guys that you have been avoiding. She's almost like a people pleaser but doesn't know it because she's just so damn happy. It's almost like the more she drinks the nicer and happier she becomes. This is great unless you are trying to get advice on men or your outfit (get a second opinion).
'The Drunk Who Gives None'
She'll let you know she doesn't like your boyfriend, your outfit, your sister, your cat or the new nail polish you just got painted on (which cost you $40). See, you'd think she would just act like this with 'the girls' because it's a safe space, you all know each other. But, nope. The girl next to her at bar, she'll let her know she doesn't like her hair style and then will proceed to suggest a different one. She'll let the DJ know that his playlist sucks and she'll let the bartender know how annoyed she is that she's been waiting 10 minutes for service. Oh, let's hope she doesn't run into her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. Things could get ugly and your fighting skills might get tested! She's a real gem. Don't be her.
Also known to be BFF's with the Happy Drunk. Overly nice yet somehow still has an edge and secrets behind those eyes. Like a cat, she has a hidden agenda but you'd never know it because it seems she's grabbed the lapel of almost ever guys sports jacket in this place and said things like, "Aren't you handsome," "Doesn't that jacket make you hot," or "You'd look better on the dance floor with me." She can't for the life of her remember where she left her purse or how to get her phone out of lock mode but somehow she has the mad skills to get the most dashing guy in the place while 3-sheets to the wind on gin and tonics.
You and your girls have kept tabs on her all night and everyone has taken turns going to the bar with her or to the bathroom and dance floor and you swear you were just standing next to her and then BAM. She's gone. Don't worry though. She'll text you the next morning letting you know she got a ride home... You know that's not all but you stop asking because she is Houdini in leather legging and stilettos.
She waits at the table, she holds everyone's purses, she watches the drinks to make sure no one has roofied them, she holds your hair in the bathroom and she gives that evil eye to the guys who want to approach your group. She's freaking wonder women. You attest that no one in your group has died because of her. She is usually good to drive everyone home but if she isn't she is the first one setting up Uber rides for everyone. And she group texts everyone the instructions of the night, directions, and makes sure everyone let's her know you they got home safe.
So, which one are you? Or do you have another I've missed?